What is Kindness?

Is Kindness an internal or external feeling OR a feeling to be projected internally or externally?

-Merak, Ladakh

As I sat pondering over this question it made me wonder if I truly understood what kindness is? I have always been that kind of a person who places others needs first, their wellbeing over my own, always there to listen to their thoughts, struggles, happiness or sadness without any judgments. Okay a bit guilty here - maybe when I was younger I would judge others a little bit but as life took it's course it made me more empathetic and non-judgemental. I now always give benefit of doubt to the other person coz I feel that there must have been a reason for him/her to do so. I thought this was me being kind towards them. But now it makes me wonder if that's what truly being kind is OR is it me always putting trust in others OR me always trying to see good in others? I now feel that it's definitely not kindness but me always trying to see good in others and yes a bit of people pleasing too (haha guilty again!!) but that doesn't mean that they are thinking of my wellbeing too.

People will always do things based on what feels right to them which may or may not be in your best interest. But does it mean they are not kind people??

This made me realise that maybe I had it all wrong until now. Shouldn't one be kind to themselves first so that every action they do brings kindness and contentment to themselves first. Coz only when you truly are kind to yourself is when you'll genuinely be kind to others else it might be a selfish act of desiring something in return or being a people pleaser at the expense of your own peace of mind.

I now realise that I haven't been kind to myself which always made me look for happiness and contentment externally. Maybe this is why after every downfall it takes me so long to recover from it coz I always find faults within myself, things I could have done better and by not being kind to myself and saying to myself - it's okay you did your best, learn from it and move on. Wish it was easier said than done but am trying to be more kind to myself and I urge you to be more kind to yourself too.

Always remember none of those thoughts matter, what truly matters is how you treat yourself and make sure to always treat yourself the way you would treat a romantic partner, best friend or family members. Be kind to yourself and see the magic happen!

If you have felt the same or would like to share your experience please do share in the comments or send me an email. I would love to hear from you and remember - Always be kind to yourself :)